Just For Me The Church Bells Rang
by oh madelene
Summary: Bang bang, you shot me down. OC and Blaise Zambini. Alexandra knew Blaise all her life, was his best friend, loves him deep down, but still finds it scarily easy to hate him.
1. Horses Made of Sticks

**Just For Me, The Church Bells Rang**

_I was five and he was six  
We rode on horses made of sticks  
He wore black and I wore white  
He would always win the fight_

In my white Sunday dress, sitting in the golden field. I had a play-wand, quite popular with all the little girls my age, not that I knew any. The only one other magical child I knew was a little boy with dark hair and cunning eyes, named Blaise Zambini.

My play-wand could lift little leaves, make small objects turn color, but nothing real. Blaise came up with a real wand (his fathers), through the tall, yellow grass, and pointed it at me with his familiar grin, smart eyes glinting.

"Where did you get that?" I asked him.

"It's mine," he answered, still pointing it at me. I was getting scared because I knew all too well how, even at that age, he could be impulsive and irrational, and do very stupid things without regret. I was worried, as anyone would be, that he could very well cast a terrible or scarring spell on me. And what if no one were even able to take it off. "Why are you wearing a dress today?" When I wore a dress I couldn't play, and he knew that. Normally I was your regular tomboy, with scruffy pants, fighting all the other muggle boys and getting muddy.

"It's Sunday," I answered. "I was at chapel and I have to see my grandma this afternoon."

"You should be a boy. Boys _never_ wear dresses." He pointed the wand at me and my eyes widened. Would he turn me into a boy? I felt a definite change, but it was only around my head. My head felt lighter. Had he made me disappear? I put a hand up to my head and knew it had to be around the same size, but my hair was short. My long golden curls, the picture of childhood innocence, had been taken from me. I now had short curls, and later I realized they were the same color as his. Tomboy though I was my hair was something I'd always been so proud of, as my mother brushed it for hours each night she would tell me it was beautiful, like me. I started to cry, and I cried and cried. I turned and started to run but a spell hit me and I fell. My leg hurt enormously and though he could see I was hurt he didn't apologize. He turned and ran away, leaving me behind.

_Bang bang, he shot me down  
Bang bang, I hit the ground  
Bang bang, that awful sound  
Bang bang, my baby shot me down._


	2. I Called Him Mine

_Seasons came and changed the time  
When I grew up, I called him mine  
He would always laugh and say  
"Remember when we used to play?"_

I don't know why I took him in. It was seventh year and he was in an awful state.

"I always loved your hair," he said, touching the thicker, golden waves. I would think bitterly of how he had removed it, so long ago, but I pitied him. He had no one left, he said. Everyone hated him…he said he'd seen it coming. He said that he needed my help and I offered it in whatever way he requested.

But sometimes I was still frightened by him, when I saw him sitting on the couches, flipping his wand across his fingers. I knew what that wand was capable of. I knew it could make me hurt. Sometimes my leg would twinge with pain, and he would notice and would always promised that someday he would kiss it better. But he never did.

I was tormented by my own mental abuse. Those eyes had not changed since he was a child. They might still think the same thoughts as they did then…he may turn at any moment to cast another spell on me then walk away. He promised me he wouldn't dare, and he told me that he loved me. My grey eyes looked straightly into his and I wished there were enough emotion in them to tell if he was lying. But he was too apathetic for me to read. I wanted to understand him, to know whether or not I was safe with him, but I really couldn't.

_Bang bang, I shot you down  
Bang bang, you hit the ground  
Bang bang, that awful sound  
Bang bang, I used to shoot you down._


	3. People Played and Music Sang

_Music played, and people sang  
Just for me, the church bells rang._

I never knew why I consented. My heart pained me every time I looked at him. I was painfully in love and knew that I was doomed to forever be painfully heartbroken. He was loyal to me, I think. I'm sure he didn't see other women at least. But I'd fear him when he was in a bad mood, and that was when he loved me most. He loved to see me scared, and it took over twenty years for me to realize that he always had.

_Now he's gone, I don't know why  
And till this day, sometimes I cry_  
_He didn't even say goodbye  
He didn't take the time to lie._

The great Blaise Zambini. An amazing wizard, a true genius, and a winning man. Some would call me lucky, but in the end I realized that I never had been. It was either Blaise or me.

So, late one night, while he was in bed, I stayed up. I drank strange potions and burned plants. At three in the morning, as he lay sleeping, a pushed open the door. My pupils had widened and in my hand I held my wand. I took his off the bedside table, but I almost jumped as the white curtains brushed me, as they moved in the cool, night wind.

I pointed our wands at his face and leaned back a little, bracing myself. The floor creaked loudly and he jerked awake, and I cast the spell.

I cried over a hollow body for hours before disposing of it, my eyes mad with grief and the strange potions that intoxicated my body. I had finally won, I told myself. I truly beat him this time. The last time.

But, as I stared through the curtains and out into the acres of land before me I was sure I felt the icy tendrils of fingers clasping my shoulders. I was sure I felt a cool breath blowing into my ear. I was sure I felt the ghostly curls of his hair against my face. Shutting my eyes I took the last potion I had made, the one that hung on a chain around my neck. I put the flask to my lips and swallowed it. I barely had time to shudder.

_Bang bang, he shot me down  
Bang bang, I hit the ground  
Bang bang, that awful sound  
Bang bang, my baby shot me down._


End file.
